First time father, Part 2: Preparation
aside from the home birth decision, a lot of general learning was needed on my part…about pregnancy, birth, and parenting. i was entirely focused on the birth – because it’s the scariest part. but in hindsight, the birth actually goes by quickly, and it’s *after* the birth that’s the real hard work. anyways, we did lots and lots of different things to prepare, and i’ll try to cover them all in this post.
we moved into a new home during her 2nd trimester. from SF’s hipster Mission District to a suburban house in San Mateo. i had totally envisioned the birth happening in our beautiful SF apartment, but by the time it happened, our San Mateo home was truly our home and it felt perfect. in hindsight, the timing of the move was great.
Amo, understandably, did a lot more work in preparation for the big day. she did a 10-day silent Vipassna meditation retreat, was regularly practicing yoga, and had a profund labyrinth walk (http://www.uninteresting.org/amo/blog/?p=440).
we also did our kegel exercises together every day (there are benefits for men there – look it up). Though Amo’s pregnancy diet started out really starchy, she transitioned over to all organic, no sugar/salt, and drank lots and lots of water.
something that we both think helped a lot was perineal massage. it takes discipline to do every day, especially since it’s not exactly fun to give or receive it. but after a few weeks there was a marked increase in Amo’s flexibility and that must have been one of the reasons she tore so little during the birth.
every week we took a profile pic of Amo’s belly, as it grew over time. she also did a pregnancy glamour shot photo session – highly recommended.
she also had strong community support. we’re lucky to be near great organizations like the Bay Area Homebirth Collective, San Mateo Mother’s Club, Natural Resources, and Blossom Birth Homebirth. and it helped that a number of close friends were also pregnant at the same time: Yukie, Ritika, and Katherine.
other recommended resources:
- online: mothering.com and babycenter.com’s “what to expect” notifications were kinda cool.
- videos: The Business of Being Born; Orgasmic Birth
- books: The Birth Partner; Birth: A History of Birth; Evidence Based Maternity Care
Amo also put together a thoroughly detailed Birth Plan that described our birth preferences (and things to avoid), people approved to be present, and hospital transfer options.
we also took a Red Cross Infant CPR class. but to be honest, i forgot it all within a few days. the final class we took together was Hypnobirthing. it was actually a really great class and the timing couldn’t have been better. we spent the day in class, learning about mantras and other relaxation techniques…and that night, while doing our homework for day #2, Amo’s water broke and the birth was on!
