traffic school, 7 habits, and buddhism
as usual, i took the A home from work today. as we pulled into the union square station, i moved aside for a woman behind me to get out, and heard her say “bitch don’t you do that to me” to another woman in her way. it quickly became a standoff, and seconds later they were flailing away at each other.
like most fights of the sort, it would die down a bit, and then they’d jump back into it. we were all angling for a good view. some were laughing and snickering about it.
it’s curious how we can be mindlessly riding the subway, and just moments later be blinded by rage and violence. i’m sure as hell not above it: a while back i was getting on a train and a guy bumped into me on his way out. as he did, i noticed he leaned into me just a little bit harder to force his way through me.
normally i just brush it off when people bump into me, maybe look back with a grin, indicating a “sorry”. but in that almost imperceptible instant, i felt his motivation and it just pissed the shit out of me. i looked back at him, hoping he would look back also and instigate something further. but he didn’t, and i got on the train really pissed, imagining how i would’ve kicked his ass all over the place and how good it would have felt.
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once i was in traffic school, maybe 10 years ago, and the instructor was talking about road rage. he said, “next time someone cuts you off on the freeway, instead of getting angry and dangerously tailgating or cutting them off, try just letting it go.”
when i started reading “7 habits” the first time (maybe 5 years ago), it spoke of choosing your reaction to things. though we tend to subconsciously act out scripts that are engrained in us, there’s nothing preventing us from examining those scripts, deciding they suck, and choosing different ones.
today, i read in “buddhism, plain & simple” that one should try to see reality for what it is, to “act without intention.” that is, i believe, to behave consistently, regardless of whether people bump into me by accident or to purposely plow through me. extrapolate that idea out a million-fold, and you might live a life free of dukkha (dissatisfaction, the wants and worries that fill our heads).
this book is blowing me away. i need to think about it while stoned, but i’m afraid my head will explode.